The Power of Letting Go For a Better Life

My podcast guest, Jill Sherer Murray, spoke with me about what’s possible when you focus on letting go in order to have the life and love you want. She’s a TEDx speaker and influencer, author, and founder of Let Go For It®, a lifestyle brand dedicated to helping individuals let go for a better life and businesses let go for better communications. She’s also an award-winning journalist and communications leader who can trace practically every success she’s had in her career, love life, and more to letting go.

Her TEDx talk, The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go has been viewed by millions, and her book, which will be out in May 2020, is called Big Wild Love: The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go. She wrote it in response to the many viewers who’ve reached out to her for help and inspiration after seeing her TEDx talk.

In this episode of the Woman of Value Podcast:

– Having the courage to leave the wrong relationship to find the right one

– The power of letting go of anything that’s not working for you

– The importance of being in love with your life before inviting in a partner

– Getting out of your comfort zone to live your best life

– Learning to receive, not just give

– Taming the inner critic to have the big bold life you want!

Audio
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Video

“In the end only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you” – Buddha

Show Notes

S2 EP 6: Jill Sherer Murray – The Power of Letting Go For a Better Life

What is a woman of value to you?

She embraces herself, warts and all. She silences the inner critic. And she’s self-compassionate when she doesn’t get it ‘right’ every time.

What was your ‘aha’ moment when you stepped more fully into your value?

I was dating someone for 12 years, and I had an aha moment that he was never going to marry me. I had rationalized it away for a long time. I had epiphanies during the relationship, which I called little earthquakes, and I had ignored them. I had a bathroom floor moment and finally left this man, which wasn’t easy. I moved away from everything I knew, and I started my life over. It was the best thing that ever happened. I learned to let myself go, and that was the beginning of becoming a true woman of value.

It was a wonderful opportunity to just ‘be’ and assess what my role was in every relationship I had been in. I got clear on what I was doing to derail and sabotage my efforts. I asked myself, ‘What do I want?’

The importance of not rushing to fill in the void

‘There is much joy to be on your own. And there is so much work to be done when you’re alone.”

A body image psychologist once told me, “When people lose something, they rush to fill that space back up.” But, it’s a great opportunity to fill our own cups. That’s how we build our own lives up. Be alone. Be the best you can be.

You’re not struggling to find a partner because you’re not enough. It’s because you haven’t shown up fully for yourself. You haven’t let your shields and guards down to bring more of yourself to dating and relationships.

It doesn’t matter what you look like or how old you are. It’s about being self-assured and confident in who you are. It’s not appealing to those who are not in the same space as you are. You’re looking for people who are your equals, who can meet you where you are. You draw back the same kind of person that you are.

How did you meet your husband, and how did you know he was the ‘one’ for you?

When I felt ready to date again, I went online. I had one guy who would disappear and then show up again. I said yes to a last minute date until I realized “NO!” I don’t want this.

“We’re not always for everybody, and that’s okay.”

Take the lessons and gifts from each relationship, and keep going. When I met my husband, we both knew right away. I had such clarity about what would work for me.

[Listen to a funny story about what he sent her in an email and what she sent back to let him know she wanted to marry him. (33:00)]

I used to date hoping men would like me. When I met my husband, I dated hoping I’d like them. I had to choose. And I apply this to the rest of my life. What I’m willing to accept and not accept in life and love. If we don’t remember who we are, we fall into the vortex again.

What is your dream for the future?

I want to help people who are in a bad relationship, afraid to leave, afraid to believe what she wants is possible. There are infinite possibilities in life for happiness.