EP 7: Fran Hauser - The Art of Being Nice AND Strong

If you think you have to be tough (not kind) to be respected and succeed in business, this episode is for you. Fran Hauser is a startup investor and the best-selling author The Myth of the Nice Girl – Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate. She’s a career advice columnist @Refinery29, a speaker on women’s leadership and the former President of Digital @TimeInc.

In this episode, you’ll hear about the importance (and art) of setting firm (and kind) boundaries, how to identify your core values, and how to live in alignment with what’s important to you. Fran believes NICE is your superpower. She is an inspiration, the model of a life well-lived and well-balanced, while remaining humble and always in service to the greater good.

Check out the video, audio, and show notes for EP 7: Fran Hauser – The Art of Being Nice AND Strong. And please take a moment to subscribe, rate, and review the show using the links below.

EP 7: Fran Hauser – The Art of Being Nice AND Strong

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Show Notes for

EP 7: Fran Hauser – The Art of Being Nice AND Strong

1:43 What is a woman of value to Fran? It’s about making an impact while staying true to who you are. When you’re doing work that’s not aligned with your values, it can be very depleting.

Design a Life That Works for You

3:15 We discuss how to tune into designing a life that works for you. Fran talks about a time when she felt out of alignment, and she wanted to make a change and create a professional life that was more flexible to give her time with her young boys. So, six years ago, she left Time Inc. and started her own business. It was scary, but step by step, she made it work.

7:39 Fran has a fantastic method for deciding where to spend time and energy every day. It’s called The Four-Square Method. Her big area of growth was not to say yes to everything to prove you can do it all!

Where Do You Want to Put Your Energy?

12:48 Once you’re clear on where you want to put your energy, it’s really important to not say yes to things that drain you. Fran talks about why it’s important to not have an ‘auto yes’ when faced with potential clients. She writes a kind response as to why she is declining a project.

18:00 We discuss the importance of setting up processes to be able to weigh if something is a yes or no for you. Fran shares how she stopped letting people ‘pick her brain’ and instead, she set up courses and webinars for the three areas that people wanted information from her. Now she has different ways for people to engage with her, instead of just saying a kind ‘no’.

Learning to Speak Up

24:00 Fran shares a story about how she learned to speak up and find her voice when she was working at Ernst and Young in her twenties. She speaks about writing her book, The Myth of the Nice Girl, and why it was important to be vulnerable. It made the book much more relatable and less of a playbook.

34:13 We speak about perfection, and how it doesn’t work in any relationship. Fran would rather work with people who acknowledge when they don’t know something, people who create a safe psychological environment, where people are comfortable to speak up. Be clear that you want to hear different points of view.

How to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking

37:36 Fran and I discuss public speaking. She was always more comfortable as a producer than as talent. She’s now spoken in front of 2,000 women and given so many talks, she had to reframe public speaking as being ‘of service’ and not ‘bragging and ego’.

43:49 Wearing ‘busy’ like a badge of honor is annoying. Own it, don’t feel like you’re a victim to it. Instead of saying you’re busy, say something like, “My life is full right now”.

Being Nice…and Strong!

45:00 How Fran went from thinking she wasn’t strong enough to learning you can be both nice and strong.

47:33 Fran’s shares advice for women who want to be more empowered. When you’re doubting your value, she talks about how journaling has helped her. She writes down the ways she’s created value big and small. You can refer back to those things and remind yourself that you’re capable in times of vulnerability and self-doubt.

49:00 I ask Fran how she’d like to be remembered. “Making nice a superpower!”