LiYana Silver is a coach, teacher, and speaker who helps women find the full expression of their feminine strength in work, life, and love. In this episode of the Woman of Value Podcast, we explore what to do when things fall apart, or what LiYana calls, Mining for Gold in the Dark Night of the Soul. We dive deeply into finding the wisdom and feminine strength in the challenging dark times of life, the importance of vulnerability, validating all emotions, and connecting deeply with our bodies.
You don’t want to miss this beautiful conversation!
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Show Notes for EP 3: LiYana Silver on Finding Your Full Expression of Feminine Strength
What is a woman of value to you? It’s inner sourced, deeply rooted within. External measuring is poison. We often find our greatest value in the darkest times.
Navigating the Dark Night of the Soul to Find Her Feminine Strength
4:30 LiYana talks about a very dark time in her life and how she worked through it. Powerful! She is inspired by Pema Chödrön, the author of When Things Fall Apart, who said if there’s a feeling you’d rather run from, let it pierce you to the bone.
7:50 She realized that the lifecycle of an emotion is only about two minutes. If you can face your difficult emotions, you will get to the other side of the ‘dark night’ much quicker.
During the challenging times, LiYana learned to ask herself, “If there was wisdom here, what would it be?”
9:46 “Anger’s main communication is, something you value feels threatened” Ask yourself, “What is anger letting you know?”
11:22 There’s the gift on the other side of pain and anger.
If You’re a Perfectionist, You MUST Listen to This Part!
14:35 Why LiYana has such a passion to help women who are perfectionists. It’s because so many women’s attention goes to the ways they are not living up to an ideal, to being perfect. There’s something you are made for. There’s something made to be born through you.
“We don’t get the creativity, the new idea in tech, if we’re so focused on being perfect. Perfect is code for lovable, acceptable. The value and lovability is not in the perfection.”
Where Did LiYana’s Desire to Help Others Come From?
18:43 There was a moment in a master level coaching program, and they were studying limiting beliefs and where they came from. LiYana was talking about a belief of feeling at war with herself. She had a career for ten years as a dancer and had developed an eating disorder, trying to control her body.
She was really thin, but she says, “I wasn’t a good anorexic”. Her desire for healing and wholeness was stronger than that. So, she listened to her body, and grew breasts and hips and gained weight. She thought her body was sabotaging her dreams. She lived inside something that was against what she wanted. It set up an internal war. She couldn’t trust her desires, feelings, hunger…
I was describing this, and my mentor said, “So when you’re at war with yourself and you win, who loses?” I had to chew on that one for a while, and I realized two things. You can’t lose a war with yourself without destroying the whole. I wanted wholeness. Friendship with myself.
What is Pleasure to LiYana?
25:40 “Pleasure is having your senses more engaged. It’s a richer experience. And your intuition is sharper. I made the journey back to pleasure being a life-giving force, connected to our confidence. It’s a well-being in the body. Pleasure and fight/flight/freeze response don’t go together.”
Sharing an Exercise to Reconnect to Your Body
27:37 Throughout your day, ask yourself, “How can I make this moment more pleasurable for myself.”(Listen as LiYana shares the breakdown of the question and what each part means).
33:36 “We get messages from a culture that wants women to be pretty or beautiful and just the right amount of sexy. Our natural way of feeling is not okay. Disassociating and leaving our body helps us survive. And then there comes a point when it’s getting in the way of knowing who they are. I appreciate the moment of courage of the full range of being in the human body.”
What Is LiYana Silver Creating Today?
40:00 What LiYana is creating right now. A mentorship program, The Embodiment Experience. It’s a 6 month program with an in person retreat. Just got the rights to record the book in audio format.
41:49 Her second book is in the works, and it’s on the topic of Mining for Gold in the Dark Night of the Soul.
45:11 “I used to think I wasn’t valuable/lovable enough.” What held her back from being a woman of value? Self-love, having unconditional positive friend to yourself despite your shortcomings.
46:50 What’a mistake she made in the past? Not listening to the message of her body when it contracts and gets tight. Something wasn’t right. Not taking the moment to slow it down and ask what is going on here.
“It’s fascinating to go more and more in the direction of my body. There’s measurable well-being when I listen to my body.”
Her Best Advice for a Woman Who Wants to Find the Full Expression of Her Feminine Strength and Empowerment
52:51 Be a good friend to yourself. Have unconditional positive self-regard regardless of any shortcomings. You’re kind, compassionate and loving to yourself. That is empowerment.
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