Mary Shores, author of Conscious Communications, discusses what it means to be cleansing or clogging your relationships. Check it out!

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My podcast guest, Mary Shores is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur, generating positive and pragmatic solutions for people who are freaking out. Mary blends personal experience with her extensive knowledge of neuroscience and human behavior to guide businesses and individuals to defeat the freakout and create their ideal life.

Mary joined me to discuss her new book, Conscious Communications: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Harnessing the Power of Your Words to Change Your Mind, Your Choices, and Your Life. We dove into so many juicy topics, such as changing neural pathways in your brain, the importance of linking past trauma to your relationships today, and how to know if you’re cleansing or clogging your relationships and your life.

Check out highlights below for episode #304: Are you cleansing or clogging your relationships?

Conscious Communications: Are You Cleansing or Clogging?

What do you mean by cleansing or clogging your relationships?

We’re living in a time where infinite possibilities are available to all of us. We’re always manifesting and creating things, putting out to the universe what we want, but it doesn’t always get us the results we want. It’s because we can get pulled in so many directions.

Every choice we make is either creating a connection to what we want or driving a disconnection. Cleanse or clog. An example is, if I were on a diet to lose ten pounds, I don’t necessarily need to learn a complicated diet plan. I can ask myself if the food has good nutrients [and will cleanse me], or if it [is unhealthy and] will clog me.

It’s easy to understand that we want to make cleansing connections in all our relationships.

What’s the concept of attracting who you are?

As women, we can be in denial of attracting who we are. If you’re in a pattern of attracting unavailable men, you might ask how you can be unavailable when you’re the one putting yourself out there.

I learned the hard way that I had an energetic signature [of being emotionally unavailable] that I wasn’t acknowledging. I had a lot of trauma early in life, and over time, I began to hunch over. It was one of the ways I was unconsciously protecting my heart.

I went through therapy to heal my spinal issue. It’s also important to heal inside, as our bodies store everything that happens to us. People energetically pick up on these things.

What are some steps we can take to change our neural pathways for positive change?

We’ve implanted patterns in childhood based on our belief systems. We have automatic responses to these patterns. Alignment is when thoughts, words, actions and behavior patterns are all moving in the direction you want.

Steps to change your neural pathways and become aligned are available for free in the Daily Desires Diary. (See note below to get yours):

1. Create a daily gratitude practice. Write down three things you’re grateful for. When you take a moment every day to be grateful, you’re building a muscle in your brain to look for what’s good and increase serotonin, which makes you feel better. Also, remember to be grateful for your skills and talents. The more you strengthen, the more it will grow.

2. Write down your three most proud moments of the day, and celebrate the small wins.

3. Write down three things you desire.

Understand that your stories define who you become. Reframing is so important, so it doesn’t become your identity. I’ve gone through enough challenges for five lifetimes. If I focused on only that, it would put me in victimhood. What’s the slice of your story that’s triumph over victim? It’s what built your character. It’s what makes you resilient.

Stay connected to Mary!

Join her Facebook Group: Fearless Ambition

Mary is offering a free Daily Desires Diary bundle which includes the Daily Desires Diary, a new daily practice to help you reflect, set goals, and take action, as well as a bonus excerpt of Conscious Communications to jumpstart your motivation. The link is: http://maryshores.com/desiresdiary-bundle

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A version of this post first appeared on LastFirstDate.com